AITA for reminding my brother (42m) how old our mom was when she died, after he mentioned trying for a child?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/TheLittlePickle2 on 2023-11-18 22:24:50+00:00.

My mother and father had my brother at 20 but waited on me until they were 40.

My dad died a few years after that because of health problems. My mom also had a long line of issues between and her family that resulted in immobility and lack of capacity. I was never really a kid because she needed someone to care for her and we didn't have the money for outside resources. She died when I was 19. Because I want fair judgment, I'll admit I'm resentful of my parents for having me when they did health-wise (not age wise - if they did not have so many health issues and had me at 40 I would feel differently). The roles just felt reversed. Maybe that's clouding my judgment.

Many of their issues were genetic or a combination of genes with also negative health choices. My brother is now 42, in similar health as they were, and has expressed no desire to change or take steps towards reducing his risks of certain diseases.

Him and I do not talk much and when we do it's very quick. He told me recently his wife and him were trying for a child. I didn't say anything because I didn't know how to reply. He later text me what was wrong? He said to be honest because it was clear I didn't like what he admitted and I told him both our parents died very young because of health reasons. I don't say that to scare him, but I was barely adult when mom died of things we are susceptible to. It's not up to me and he can do what he wants, yet consider how tough it can be to lose parents at such young ages and the impact it can have.

There was no reply, but both his MIL and wife text me to say my mom was a brave woman and I need to get over what happened because she loved me, just like my brother will love his potential child.

My brother wasn't around when our parents became very sick so I don't think it had a similar impact on him.

AITA?