AITA for calling my daughter-in-law’s parents deadbeats and not stepping down in my place at her wedding?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Educational_West_102 on 2023-11-19 05:03:40+00:00.

When my son, “Josh”, was 16, he and his girlfriend, “Chloe”, told my wife and I that they were expecting a baby. We were reasonably concerned and upset, but supported the two in whatever they wanted to do. They decided they wanted to keep the baby.

Chloe’s parents were not supportive at all and kicked her out of the house. We had her move in with us. My wife and I developed a close bond with her as we helped her prepare for the baby. After the birth of their daughter, “Brynn”, Chloe and Josh lived with us until they were 22. As they were so young, we really helped a lot those first few years as they got their GEDs, went to trade school, etc. It was not an easy road in the slightest, but it made us all closer. I consider Chloe the daughter I never had. They are now 25 and Brynn is 9.

Last year, Chloe’s parents got in contact with her and said that they were sorry, they wanted to be in their lives, etc. Josh and Chloe chose to hesitantly let them in their daughter’s life. They have definitely played the part of overcompensating grandparents, who try to pretend no time has passed. Brynn is healthy, safe and loved, that’s all that matters. They have been stand-offish with my wife and I.

I feel they are jealous and maybe insecure when it comes to how close we are to Chloe and Brynn. We’ve tried to arrange for times to talk, outings where all 4 of us can be with Brynn, etc, they always rebuff. So, we’ve settled to be polite and kind, getting along with them for Brynn,Chloe and Josh’s benefit.

Chloe and Josh have recently announced they’re getting married. She asked me to walk her down the aisle. She explained that while her dad is too, she’d love to have “her other dad” with her. I was touched. She has called me “Papa Sam” for awhile now (and my wife, “Mama Carol”), but I still didn’t expect this. I accepted.

Now, Chloe’s dad is refusing to walk her down the aisle because I will. He says that I am encroaching on a precious moment between him and his daughter. I said so long as Chloe wants me to walk her, I will. Chloe has said she doesn’t want me to step down, but also wants her dad there. I’ve said I’ll support what she wants. She’s remained firm that she wants to try to find a way to get her dad on board so we’ll both walk her.

Chloe’s mom said I should step down, because of course Chloe won’t ask me to. I made a comment about how then I’d be just as much of a deadbeat as they were for so long. This pissed her and her husband off.

My wife feels I’ve fueled this drama and I should just step down so Chloe can have both her parents there. I’ve said until Chloe asks me to step down, I won’t. AITA?